#79: Holding Her Hostage

In this episode - we talk about how he can hold her hostage in the recovery process.  We discuss this concept, of him holding her hostage, two different ways (or avenues or angles or well, you get the point).   The first avenue is how Jason interprets “holding her hostage” which essentially is him holding her hostage for his past wounds and holding her accountable and responsible to heal his past wounds.  This certainly was a dynamic that Jason and I dealt with while we were dating as well as while we were married.     We end up moving into a conversation about Jason going first in the recovery process and him relinquishing the expectation of me “healing” his wounds and I qualified that by saying it’s not “fully” my responsibility.  This takes us down a whole other trail where I mention Genesis 2:21 where Eve was taken from Adam’s rib - close to his heart and under his arm as well as Genesis 2:18 and the word "helper" meaning one who provides what is lacking in another.  Clearly I am grappling with this and Jason gives a helpful analogy.   The second avenue that we quite quickly look at because we were running out of time is when he holds her hostage by not being open to allowing her to express her pain and giving her a soft space to land as she grieves.  A lot packed into this episode - some tears, a lot of laughter and hopefully a lot to think about.   We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us for Season #6. Make sure you download the Podcast Freebies! You can do that here.   Would love for you to consider joining me at the Fall 2024 Retreat - you can join the wait list here.  The Spring Boundary Class is FULL.  However, we are considering adding an early summer class - you can join the wait list here. For more information on RL Academy, click here. Join the community on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list. Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.