#42: Intimacy Aversion - When He Is Withholding Sex

In this episode, we talk about when he is withholding sex during recovery.  While this might not be as common as men that will hypersexualize their wives, it’s still something that we see and it’s important to give space to this piece of the puzzle because it is INCREDIBLY painful and confusing for her. We start with talking about the underpinnings of withholding sex.  Jason gives five different reasons that he sees that can contribute to this and I think it’s important to note that the intimacy aversion as well as trauma from childhood, I believe, weigh the most as far as underpinnings. We then talk about what she needs in the midst of this:  reassurance via cared, adored, loved, etc.  This is tricky because a lot of men aren’t capable of this early on in recovery due to it being too intimate, too vulnerable, too risky.  In addition, she needs to see him actively working on the underpinnings. Finally, we talk about what the couple can do in order to move toward reconnecting sexually in a healthy way.  We will be back next week with part 2, looking at the other side of the coin:  what to do when he is hypersexual. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!   Here is a link to the Rescued workbook. Click here to download the Podcast Freebies - we added the building blocks of intimacy graphic. Here is a link to the cow meme I referred to from Instagram. Click here to join the wait list for the Worthy of Her Trust Workshop. Click here to join the wait list for the RLW Retreat for women - releasing the next date and location soon! Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.  We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!  Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list.  Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.