#20: Boundaries - An Introduction

In recovery, we talk about boundaries in two different ways - first, it’s how we define our “limits” in life. Sometimes people cross into our space and sometimes we cross into others' space. Recognizing when someone crosses that line (or limit) is important to be aware of. When you hear someone say - “he crossed a boundary with me”, this is what they are referring to. The second way we conceptualize boundaries is when we have to intentionally protect ourselves from someone that we don’t feel safe with. Another way to describe this is reinforcing the boundary. Again, the motivation here is to get safe. An example would be separating from him and not having emotionally charged conversations until there is a third party present. The distinction between these two types of boundaries is important to be aware of. Jason and I talk a bit about this and then pivot and talk about how boundaries are rooted in needs (and protection / safety). So in order for us to figure out what our boundaries are (referring to the latter kind of boundary, the ones where we potentially need to reinforce our boundaries in order to get safe), it’s important for us to first identify what we need. Ultimately, when it comes to identifying what we need and setting boundaries - what we as women are looking to see is - will he protect my heart at all costs? Thank you for joining us for this last podcast of Season #2, we are looking forward to a 3rd Season closer to August of 2021. MasterClasses can be found here. Boundaries Course for women - coming soon - click here for the details. Changes That Heal is an excellent book to read if you are wanting to understand boundaries better. Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter and click here to subscribe to Jason’s. Questions for the Podcast? Email Shelley with the subject line: Podcast.