#41: When He Leaves Her Behind

Okay you guys - this was another really hard episode to record.  We started in our podcast studio (aka my office) and then had to move to our bedroom.  Upon setting up camp in our bedroom, we kept getting interrupted - by a puppy, by our children, by a vacuum cleaner.  Thank goodness for Mary and Christa, our podcast producers - I am sure they had their work cut out for them on this one.   In this episode, we talk about a phenomenon we see in the recovery process where he gets too far out ahead and in effect leaves her behind.  This can happen post-disclosure when he has aired his dirty laundry and he feels better.  This can also happen when he has done some recovery work and genuinely sees and feels a difference and looks back at her, sees her as being stuck, and implicitly in his communication - he says - “you should come up here”.  The issue with this is it implies she is the problem in moving through recovery.  And oftentimes - she is blamed for not being forgiving.  As I say on the podcast, this is awful.   If anyone wants it to be fast - trust me, it’s her!   We explore the reasons motivating him to do this, what she really needs and what he can do to come back to her.   We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!   Link to the podcast episode on Shame Click here to join the wait list for the Worthy of Her Trust Workshop. Click here to join the wait list for the RLW Retreat for women - releasing the next date and location soon! Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.  We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!  Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list.  Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.