#53: Adversarial Language + Avoiding Conversations

This week on RL Radio - we start by talking about adversarial language. Jason gives a lot of examples - “swim toward the sharks”, “stand in front of the firing line”, “she’s on the gurney”, “tossing him grenades". Jason then explains some of the reasons this can be an issue including - it makes the wife the enemy and dehumanizes her. It also puts him (the husband) in a passive place versus an active participant in her healing. Instead, we want to encourage husbands to pivot toward this: anytime there is pain communicated is an opportunity for a healing exchange to take place. This happens via integration and intimacy. Jason and I get a little stuck when talking about whether he is avoiding saying something because he is caring for her versus avoiding saying something because of his intimacy aversion. Jason shares a couple of things that can help when the lack of conversation is because of the latter (avoiding intimacy or intimacy aversion) - a shift in mindset in serving her and serving yourself, seeing our call is to move toward pain; and last - seeing the fruit of it. I then add in: having people to support us and encourage us to lean back in. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!   For more information on RL Academy, click here. We will be announcing details for the next RLW Retreat + opening applications soon.  To make sure you get all the details - add yourself to the retreat interest list here. Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click ere to subscribe to Jason’s list. Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.