#45: Forgiveness - Part Two

We start this episode with a big announcement - the 2nd RLW retreat will be in Scottsdale, AZ October 6th-9th.  I really hope you will consider joining me!  Ticket sales go live on July 2nd but we will be opening up tickets to the wait list prior to this date.  Click here to join the waitlist. We then get sidetracked talking about some of our favorite restaurants in the Scottsdale area:  The Farm at South Mountain, Bandera - which apparently closed this year, and Luci’s at the Grove I wanted to start with pinning up a couple of things from the last episode: In particular a bit more of the Story of Joseph which is in Genesis 37 through the end of Genesis.  Bottom line:   we see a Biblical example of forgiveness and grief and in particular Joseph shows us that we can forgive and then continue to grieve. Fast forgiveness can lead to fast bitterness for women.  Jason wanted to reiterate that a husband’s heart attitude toward the forgiveness process for her needs to be focused on for her to feel better, not just for him to feel better. We then dig into some handholds that women can use as they work through the forgiveness process.  We dig into these six phases of the process: Awareness - owning our feelings, this is the beginning of grief Acknowledgement - name the bitterness, resentment, etc. and see that forgiveness is ultimately the answer - but it’s okay to not jump to forgiveness if you aren’t ready Empathize and Experience - empathy is key (but keep in mind this can take a long time to cultivate).  In regards to experience:  this is from the parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18- when we experience forgiveness (not just receive it) - it readies our hearts to share it with others. Choice - forgiveness is volitional, it’s a choice, it literally means - “to let go” Commemorate and Communicate - doing something to show that you have said your big “yes” of forgiveness and consider communicating this to the one that has hurt you (use wisdom here, depends on the relationship) Continuation - even after our big yes of forgiveness - continuing to say the little yeses.  The number of times we forgive is not a numerical standard but rather a heart standard.  We will continue to forgive until our heart is at peace. Forgiveness work is a full-time job ladies.  And for men listening - please hear me say:  she is working HARD to get there.  When she is crying and grieving - know that this is what is moving her through and toward forgiveness. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!  Click here for information on Support Groups - we are working on new groups for 3 Q 2022. Click here to join the wait list for the Worthy of Her Trust Workshop. Click here to join the wait list for the RLW Retreat for women.  By joining the wait list, you will get early access to ticket sales. Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.  We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!  Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list.  Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.