Ep. 33: A Conversation About Sober Sex & Sobriety with Tawny Lara

Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m joined by Tawny Lara to talk about sobriety and sex, working through arrested development, and learning sexual expression. Tawny also talks about the importance of mindful sexual exploration, learning about asexuality, co-dependency and addiction, and how to separate sex, identity, and alcohol. Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [01:06] A bit about Tawny. [01:39] Tawny, The Sober Sexpert. [04:45] The physical effects of alcohol and sex. [06:16] The “liquid courage = fun drunk sex” narrative. [07:22] Discovering who she is sexually without alcohol. [08:17] Separating sex, gender identity, sexuality, and alcohol. [09:22] Arrested development. [13:07] How alcohol hinders sexual response. [15:21] From performative drunk sex, to sober non-performative sex. [17:50] The biphasic effects of alcohol. [21:38] Can you benefit from trying sober sex? [23:01] The biggest challenges when experiencing sober sex for the first few times. [24:37] How to replace the liquid courage with your own intrinsic courage. [25:02] Asexuality and sobriety. [27:35] Top takeaways from Ace, by Angela Chen. [32:12] There is hope. [34:09] Replacing dates with “drinks”. [36:00] Tawny’s advice.   Quotes: “There’s a laundry list of ways that alcohol does not help you sexually, despite the societal narrative.” [06:02] “Porn is for entertainment of adults, not education.” [13:53] “Alcohol can, and often does, do a disservice to your sexual experience.” [17:42] “Alcohol is giving you this fun, uninhibited sex, sure, but it’s not the alcohol.” [18:27] “Read the label before you eat the food. Know what you’re getting into.” [21:04] “Replace the liquid courage with channeling your own intrinsic courage.” [24:31] “Indulge in the things that make you feel sexy.” [24:49] “A big part of some people’s sexual liberation is realizing that they actually do not like sex, and that’s okay, too.” [25:03] “If you’re not a sexual being, pleasure can be a really luxurious bubble bath.” [26:08] “Your sexual journey is sometimes ongoing.” [29:15] “You’re not alone. There are tons of free resources out there.” [32:42] “For dating, I would highly recommend an experiential date.” [34:59] “There are so many outside-of-the-box date ideas, you do not need to incorporate alcohol.” [35:47] “It’s more about the ritual than the actual substance.” [37:25] “Just because the person you love is struggling, it’s not your problem to fix.” [40:55]   Connect with Tawny Lara Website:            www.sobrieteaparty.com.                         www.tawnylara.com. Instagram:          @tawnymlara. Twitter:              @TawnyMLara. LinkedIn:            Tawny Lara. Facebook:          Tawny Lara. YouTube:           Tawny Lara. TikTok:              @tawnymlara.     Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources The Recovery Rocks Podcast. Book: Ace, by Angela Chen.     WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.