Ep 17: A Conversation About Arousal Non-Concordance aka “I’m Turned On, But I Can’t Stay Hard/Wet.. What’s Up?”

Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m going to talk about arousal non-concordance, what we can do about it, and the research around arousal. I also talk about the different types of arousal, arousal vs consent, and the importance of communication.   Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [02:18] What is arousal non-concordance? [03:47] Looking at the research. [05:08] The types of arousal. [08:16] Why am I wet/hard if I’m not subjectively turned on by stimuli? [10:52] Why am I not wet/hard? [13:05] Non-concordance is not just sexual.   Quotes: “There’s a 10% overlap between how women are responding to a situation and what stimuli they feel subjectively aroused by.” [04:32] “When the vagina gets wet, it does not mean arousal automatically.” [04:44] “[For men] there is a 50% overlap between genital response and subjective sexual arousal.” [04:58] “[According to the APA] Arousal is a state of excitement or energy expenditure linked to an emotion.” [05:14] “[According to the ISSM] Subjective sexual arousal is the active mental engagement in sex.” [05:33] “When the physiological and subjective sexual arousal are not the same, that is when arousal non-concordance occurs.” [06:09] “Regardless of what genitals you have, wetness or an erection does not mean that that person is consenting to the activity.” [10:29] “Arousal non-concordance happens with every emotional and motivational system we have. If my mouth waters when I bite into a wormy apple, does anybody say to me ‘you said no but your body said yes’?” [13:13] “You have to communicate and not just go off of our body’s responses.” [14:52]   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski.   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.