Weaponized Incompetence

Do you find yourself doing things for those that claim that you are more suitable for the task than they are? Or perhaps you find yourself passing off jobs to others because “they can do it better than you”? A common manipulation is to claim incompetence within relationships to achieve the relinquishing of responsibility. John discusses this and details the methods and effect this situation can have on relationships. 
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS

There are two types of incompetence, the first being weaponized incompetance and the second, malicious incompetance. 
Weaponized incompetence is pretending to be incompetent as an excuse or a “get out”. You may see examples of this when your partner doesn’t want to complete a chore and does a bad job so they don’t get asked again. 
Malicious incompetence is when it is used to deliberately irritate, manipulate and  manoeuvre the other party. 
An imbalance in shared tasks can cause long term resentment so it is best to discuss the behaviour to try to resolve the situation. 

 
BEST MOMENTS
‘A good example of someone feigning incompetence recently is Boris Johnson and the whole party gate debacle. So for Boris to suggest that he was unaware as to whether he was breaking the law or not, to most seemed like a very flimsy excuse, but to others it could appear to be a legitimate reason why he attended several parties during the pandemic lockdown.’
‘It’s a passive aggressive way of getting someone to do something you really just don’t want to do.’
‘A child may also have witnessed this in their parents' relationship. Seeing that one will shirk responsibility and get away with it.’
‘If you think that you may have high expectations and so this is something you perceive  to be happening rather than a real problem, then speak to a non judgemental honest friend, colleague or someone you trust, as you may be placing too much pressure on someone to be as you need them to be.’
 
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ABOUT THE HOS
I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships. 
Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.
 
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