Spontaneous And Responsive Desire

When discussing sex within relationships with clients John has found there is often problems with who initiates it, how often it takes place and mismatches in the level of sexual interactions. In this episode John discusses differing sexual motivations and triggers, the misconceptions of sex and the different types of arousal that most of us experience. 
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS

 If we take the media and entertainment view of sex we would mistakenly be under the impression that it is always motivated by desire.
Desire is not a prerequisite to arousal.
The two types of arousal most commonly discussed are ‘spontaneous’ and ‘responsive’.
Spontaneous desire is an episode of sexual arousal without any external stimulus.
Responsive desire is a reaction to a stimulus, a growing interest in sex based on something triggering, such as touch or physical contact.
Be aware that like all things that we try to give a label to there would also be a spectrum.

 
BEST MOMENTS
‘This portrayal can lead us to believe there is only one type of desire, but if we look at the sex life of most people it is nothing like this at all.’
‘Learning which kind of desire that you lean towards and which your partner leans towards can help in creating a sex life that works for you both.’
‘You either have a body that is sex ready, or a mind that needs to be in the right headspace for sex.’ 
‘The reason most people struggle with arousal and get performance anxiety is because they are in stress, fight or flight mode, and your brain can’t do both states at the same time.’ 
 
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The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        
 
ABOUT THE HOST
I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships. 
Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.
 
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