Finding the inner fire each day? How we build confidence.

Confidence and virtues? 
How do find confidence in the modern age? I mean seriously how do we get some courage to walk through each day? For me(Alexander)I was so over whelmed with trauma and grief I couldn't see the forest from the trees. I lied, cheated, and stole to protect myself but I still hurt people. So I am saying this firmly where do we find it when we have what seems like nothing or even worse when we feel like we are the cancer? I can tell you I have experienced many many illnesses and sicknesses but the worst sickness I had was the inability to see the truth or to accept it so I can change it. To see that I was truly a creator and able to change it. God I made up so many excuses and blamed everyone. My shame kept me in prison and physically took me there but there is  good news. You can step out of yours right now and I promise no religion or money required. All the joy can exceed the pain and grief fades into compassion and empathy for all.
How?
The courage to be honest? I promise you have the courage to do it. This doesn't mean you need to force all the lies to the surface and make yourself feel the shame for what you created. The truth of the matter is we all lie and we all have forgotten that we are worthy and what we truly are but thats good and part of the experience. Everything happening now is happening to you because of past choices. As the woo woo axiom says life is happening for you not at you.
HOW?
HONESTY, OPEN-MIND, WILLINGNESS. 
These all grow as you begin to walk through it.
 Be open to the possibility that just maybe you were not as bad as you thought and knowing you do have the courage and ability to begin to heal but until we find the courage to be honest or like me the courage to just say I don't even know anymore. To be honesty is in the inner most part of your being and I know we all can find it. 
Im sending love and my own confidence to you reading this now. I mean it. Hope.