Tao Te Ching Verse 31: Winning is Losing

Tao Te Ching Verse 31translated by Ellen Marie ChenMilitary weapons are implements (ch'i) of ill omen,Avoided (o) even by natural creatures (wu).Hence the Taoist does not indulge (ch'u) in them.The sage person (chün-tzu) in dwelling honors the left,In military campaigns honors the right.Hence military weapons are not implements of a princely person.Military weapons, being implements of ill omen,Are to be employed only in dire necessity.Better to regard them with lack of interest.Do not admire (mei) them.If one admires (mei) them,One would be rejoicing in the killing of people.But whoever rejoices in the killing of people,Will not be successful (chih) in the world.Therefore in joyful affairs the left is honored,In mournful affairs the right is honored.The Second-in-Command takes the place of the left,The Commander-in-Chief takes the place of the right,Meaning that this is her place in the funeral rite.When many people have been killed,Wail them with sorrow and lamentations.When victorious in battle,Mark the occasion with the rite (li) of funeral.Photo by Jordy Meow on UnsplashWinning without LosingIn my daily life, I interact with family, with colleagues, and with friends.  I can see that there are two sides to me - the kind, loving and gentle Dan, and then there’s the annoyed, closed off and drama Dan.  I’ve noticed that when I don’t feel uneasy, scared, or insecure, things seem pretty good.  And during those times, I’m usually happy to see others, interact with them, laugh, and give love.  But when, for whatever reason, maybe I see something or experience something that threatens my sense of security, things don’t look as good.  I’m not as willing to give love to others.  It is in this moment that the second Dan emerges.  The second Dan takes over in an effort to regain that sense of security.  The second Dan doesn’t really care about anything except feeling more secure, and since he’s had 43 years to figure out how to get it, is pretty crafty about how he goes about it.  The second Dan, when he’s on a mission to feel better, doesn’t have time to care for his spouse, help others at work, and be gentle and loving with friends.  Nope - that guy actually manipulates people into telling him that it’ll be ok, that they feel sorry for him, that he’s a good person.  That guy usually picks the wrong times and interrupts people when they’re doing things important for themselves.  That guy just kind of turns into a bull in an emotional china shop.If I am to apply this verse to the second Dan, I would say that the second Dan stands on the right.  When he feels insecure about anything - be it finances, his sense of worth, his social status, or his relationships, he will do anything to feel better.  Put another way, when fear is ruling me, I make decisions that are fear based and leave considerations of others...unconsidered.  In a way, I am using violence to achieve my aims by imposing or trying to impose my will on others.So putting this all together: weapons and arms are designed to do one thing - which is inflict the bearer’s will on others.  Lao Tzu says that this is the least desired thing to do.  But when it can’t be helped, we should treat that imposition as modestly and cautiously as we can, limiting its use.  We should treat each ‘victory’ as a funeral.