261. How To Be Awesome At Adjusting Your Standards

This probably sounds like we are compromising on what we want out of life… But it’s actually exactly the opposite of that.   This idea of going into situations without set expectations allows you to be more present in the moment as it actually is.  Rely less on other peoples actions and decisions, and more on your own.   And leaning more to the special little spontaneous moments and less on less on those big moments that we often put a lot of pressure on.   And when we do expect something from someone in our lives, we are going to tell them clearly and honestly ahead of time. I think a lot of the times when people are disappointed by someone they love, it wasn’t intentional, we just had a set expectation and we didn’t communicate it.  I just don’t think it’s productive to put people to the test- like they should know- no, tell them!!    When you sort of remove the overall expectations of how things should be in a particular situation… you become better equipped to enjoy it in the moment and release all those thoughts of what it should be.    Because in reality… Life often doesn’t go as we think it is going to… In positive and negative ways… So if we put more focus on being present in the moment as it is, and not what we thought it would be… we will have less disappointment and more awesome days.  A lot of times we are disappointed because we had these huge expectations- but we didn’t tell anybody!!   Here are the TIPS!!   1.  Identify when you’re not in a good headspace and need to get back to happy    2.  Communicate clearly - if you have set expectations of how things should be    3.  Give generously to others so your expectations when communicated are met.    4.  Set-up plans have talks before something special - like a vacation or Christmas Day- so you lay the foundation - then let it all go and let it happen as it will.   5.  It’s YOUR job to make you feel happy and fulfilled- not someone else’s.  Don’t put too much pressure on other people or make it so it’s not possible to achieve.    6. Don’t compare- especially on social media.    7.  Plan your own celebration!!  Your birthday or Mother’s Day!  Not in a controlling way- you know what you want so set it up!  Don’t feel like someone else should or you shouldn’t plan your own.    8.  Accept that we aren’t perfect so our loved ones won’t be either.    9.  Do the self- care and mindfulness.  When we feel like we are pouring from an empty cup we are emotional and more likely to be sensitive when things don’t go as you expect.    10.  Celebrate often!!  Get out and laugh!  We sometimes celebrate only when it’s something traditional - how about celebrating smaller things more often.  You’ll feel so good and it won’t put this massive 6 month pressure on your birthday going perfectly because you’re celebrating all the time!!     CHEERS to living your best life, on your terms!!