The Formula

The Formula is a thinking and feeling strategy I use for responding to intense interactions or verbal attacks that can escalate to a crisis. The two keys to this process are seeing the facts of the situation and also acknowledging the painful emotions for everyone involved. Facing facts and feeling our feelings are both necessary during real life scenarios when loved ones are acting out their emotions.  This is especially true when family members may be trying to manage symptoms of mood disorders.  Our best chance for supporting healthy emotional processing for everyone  including us, is to recognize that when one of us is hurting we all are hurting. We can hold space and love everyone through the most difficult moments, and then we can decide from there what to do or say next.  This 2-step formula can help diffuse the most upsetting interactions and lets us take care of us and the rest of the family at the same time. There may be more to do to repair and restore, but this brain hack is a good start.