Parashat Shemini: Kind to Our Kind?

In this week's parasha, Shemini, we read about the kosher and non-kosher species, those that we’re allowed to eat and those that we’re not allowed to eat. One of the birds listed, which is not kosher, is called the chasidah . Rashi brings down the reason it's called a chasidah is because it does chesed with its friends by providing them with food. The Chidusheh HaRim asked, if that's the case, seemingly it should have been a kosher bird, based on the Ramban who said that non-kosher birds are ones that are cruel by nature. The Chidushei HaRim answered, since it only does chesed with its own friends and whoever is not its friend, it doesn't help, it's considered a cruel bird. This is because when it comes to helping others, especially with food, we are not supposed to differentiate between one and another. Whoever needs help, we help. Rav Yissachar Dov from Belz once told his students a story of a doctor who finished his studies and then went to get a letter of recommendation from one of the top doctors in his field. The top doctor asked this young doctor what he would do if someone came in with a cut that wouldn't stop bleeding. Immediately, the young doctor replied with a certain medication that would surely stop the bleeding. The doctor then asked him what he would do if he didn't have that medication available. The young doctor replied he would go get an article of clothing and burn it and use the ash to stop the bleeding. The doctor then asked him what he would do if he was not able to find any clothing. The young doctor was left without an answer and with that the top doctor refused to give him a recommendation. He told this young doctor, “You were supposed to say that you would take off your own shirt and burn it to help out your patient.” Those are the automatic feelings a person is supposed to have when he knows someone else is in need. If someone is able to help someone else in the same area that he himself is needy in, that makes the chesed infinitely greater. A man told that his son is a good student and got an excellent shidduch proposal. A girl with good middot , yirat shamayim and a great family. They were very interested and told the shadchan they were in. The shadchan then got back to the girl's parents who went and investigated the boy and they replied, “We heard a lot of good things about him, but we are looking for someone on a higher level of learning.” This boy, who knew about the proposal and was waiting tensely for a response, was very disappointed to hear that they were not interested in him. Several days passed and he got over the insult. He told his father, his chavruta was really something special in learning. He is exactly the type of boy that this girl's family is looking for. Of course, it wasn't pleasant that they didn't want him, but why should that stop him from finding a good shidduch for his chavruta ? The father agreed and called the shadchan giving over the proposal in the name of his son. A few days later, the shadchan called back, this time, with a positive response from the same family for his own son. The shadchan said that the girl was so moved by this whole idea. She said, “A boy who is able to get over an insult and still be interested in helping his friend with the shidduch that he wanted is somebody who I would want.” And indeed, the shidduch materialized and, b’ezrat Hashem, the wedding date has been set. A real ba’al chesed doesn't only do chesed with his own kind or his own friends. He does chesed with everyone and is even willing to sacrifice his own pleasures to help somebody else. Shabbat Shalom.