EP 126: Navigating Relationship Conflict and Infidelity while Mothering, Co-Regulation, and Self-Preservation with Livia Shapiro

In this episode, Kimberly and Livia discuss Livia’s latest book “The Somatic Therapy Workbook” and how it came to be during a difficult marital separation. Livia shares how writing her book was an anchor in the midst of relationship chaos, all while mothering and how to co-regulate with children at developmentally appropriate ages. Livia walks us through her ultimate decision to separate from her ex-partner as healthy self-preservation, as well as the difficulties of doing so within a family unit.      Bio Livia Shapiro is a mother, long time yoga practitioner and teacher, somatic psychotherapist and author. Livia writes on the intersection of yoga, somatics, and psychology. She is the author of “The Somatic Therapy Workbook: stress-relieving exercises for strengthening the mind-body connection and sparking emotional and physical healing.” Her article “Yoga-Based Body Psychotherapy” is published in the International Journal of Body Psychotherapy and is a tool for weaving yoga and psychotherapy into a seamless psychotherapeutic model. As a Somatic Psychotherapist Livia works holistically, helping women reorient and repair their nervous systems to live more vibrantly and powerfully.     What They Share  — Betrayal and infidelity in a marriage while mothering — How to co-regulate with children verbally and physically during crises — Separating and single parenting/co-parenting — Living with actual reality vs. desired reality — Preserving Oneself as ultimate act of Mothering     What You’ll Hear — Livia shares writing “The Somatic Therapy Workbook” during a life crisis — Dealing with difficult pregnancy physically and emotionally — Experiencing miscarriage as grace — Livia’s “Fully incarnate” soul into body as a woman, therapist, mother, human — Blighted ovum miscarriage — Break-up of relationship with ex-partner and daughter’s father — Family secrets and developmentally appropriate honesty with children  — Boundaries, privacy, and protection with children — Betrayal and shock during marital crisis and mothering — Repairing after marital arguments in front of children — Spousal separation while parenting — Giving children language during difficult times — Single parenting — Co-regulation as acknowledging difficult emotions for children — Confirming realities instead of hiding for children — Lack of confirmation leading to cultism, narcissism, binary thinking — Growing up without honest conversations between parents and children — Teaching verbal and bodily ways to shake out a tense situation — Sharing space both individually and together with children — Needing individual and emotional space from children — Healing, repairing, and recalibrating from infidelity — Infidelity as a power struggle — Self-preservation within a family dynamic — Discovery trauma occurs when told of betrayal — Grieving future sibling loss with same parents as a result of separation — Difficulty accepting potentially new parents in child’s life after separation — Family in-tact doesn’t necessitate individual being in-tact — Kimberly’s desire for marriage and leaving relationship with child’s father and Brazil — Being first person in lineage to divorce — Evaluating relationship difficulty vs. needing to leave traumatic situation — Leaving unhealthy environments as necessity and self-preservation — Accepting what is true and not what wished was true — Claiming self as mother, wife (ex-wife), author — Need for Applied Psychology for all body-workers and somatic professionals — Yoga teachers as somatic practitioners — “The Somatic Therapy Workbook” for all practitioners (yoga, birth, therapists) — “The Somatic Therapy Workbook” complimenting and pairing with “Call of the Wild”     Resources Website: http://ecstaticunfoldment.com/ IG: @liviashapiro Email: lgsyoga@gmail.com