688. Bob Harwood

Between the age of 20 and 40 I was consumed with a wide range of existential questions, but despite endless thinking and reading, I never found a single answer. Due to some business-related stress at the age of 40, I started a simple meditative exercise as a way to acquire some peace of mind, and within two weeks a major insight occurred that led to more meditative activities. Five months later a huge cosmic-consciousness event answered seven of my questions and catapulted me into a different reality. I then concluded that all answers were "within," and for the next 15 years I went on silent meditation retreats with Christians, Buddhists, and Advaita groups during which all of my other questions got answered. Nevertheless, I still did not feel free. Then, a new question arose, "How is it possible to stay in a unity-conscious state of mind permanently rather than oscillating between a sense of selfhood and no-self?" In 1999, after a deep experience of gratitude on a solo hiking retreat, "the little guy in the head" (the sense of a personal "me") totally vanished, and the result was freedom, contentment, and understanding.
Book: Pouring Concrete: A Zen Path to the Kingdom of God – Expanded Edition
Bob's email
Transcript and summary of this interview
Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group
Interview recorded August 19, 2023
Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.

YouTube Video Chapters:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump00:04:43 - Questioning Beliefs and Exploring Existential Questions00:08:25 - The Journey of Seeking Answers in Zen Philosophy00:12:17 - The Shift in Perception00:16:07 - A Reality Shift00:19:54 - The End of the Construction Company00:24:03 - Realization of the Incomprehensible00:28:16 - Simple answers to Zen riddles00:32:17 - Finding Freedom in the Middle of Responsibilities00:35:50 - Questioning Selfhood and Freedom in the Mountains00:38:59 - The Dissolution of the Sense of Self00:42:30 - The True Self and Identity00:46:00 - The Silence of the Mind00:49:19 - Non-Abidance in the Mind00:52:39 - The Kingdom of God Inside and Outside of You00:55:59 - Shifting Attention Beyond the Mind01:02:47 - The Benefits of Practice and Reconfiguration01:06:16 - The Natural Inclination to Help Others01:09:50 - The Depth of Awakening01:13:12 - Falling Asleep During Meditation01:16:26 - Realizing the Irrelevance of a Silent Mind01:20:00 - Seeking Benefit in the Present Moment01:23:32 - Intuition and the Home of All Knowledge01:27:00 - Knowing and achieving specific things in life01:30:50 - The Blissful State on the Deathbed01:34:07 - Embracing the Unknowable Future01:37:31 - The Universal Sound01:40:44 - The Challenges of Maintaining Friendships01:48:00 - Wrapping Up with Bob