19 - Phoebe Gander: No light, No shadow: embracing our darkness, so we can express our light

In this episode Kate speaks with New Zealand Visual Artist Phoebe Gander. Phoebe shares how difficult it was to live most of her life with undiagnosed ADHD, how for years she believed there was something deeply faulty about her and how that was the root cause of self-hatred and years of depression. When her own young son was diagnosed with ADHD, it led her to her own diagnoses which set her on a path of a deep healing and self acceptance which ultimately allowed her to step into the superpowers that ADHD had in store for her.  So many of us KNOW from a young age what we love and what makes us happy but in a misguided effort to be like everyone else we so often talk ourselves out of following those dreams. Phoebe’s story is a reminder to me of how important it is that we commit to seeing each other's differences as gifts, not things to be scared of. So much suffering and trauma can be avoided if we are encouraged to lean into what makes us different, rather than trying to make it go away. One of my favourite moments in the episode is when Phoebe talks about her painting “No light, no shadow” and how for her it is a very clear example for her of what she feels creativity is trying to do through her; which is to remind herself and others that without darkness there can be no light. When I think about little Phoebe and ALL the little people everywhere who are trying so desperately to achieve all the same things in all the same ways as their peers despite the fact that that is simply not how life works - my heart gets a lump in its throat. I wish we could just wave a magic wand right now and let every single person past present and future know this:  the thing that makes you different IS the thing that makes YOU so special. I am roaring encouragement at you to not waste another moment: LEAN into this thing. Things Phoebe and I talk about-How so many of us KNOW from a young age what we want to do, but in a misguided effort to be like everyone else we talk ourselves out of following our dreams.-What it was like to have undiagnosed ADHD for much of her life (no explanation for why she was so “different” -What the gifts and challenges of ADHD have been - learning how to balance those. -What creativity really is and what it is trying to do through her -Why she calls herself an emerging artist (even though she is very accomplished) -How the two years she studied art and theater in university were the “best two years of her life: -The pressure to come up with a “reasonable” job when we are younger. -How she hit rock bottom and what borough her back -Post-natal depression, post natal anxiety-Whether you can be a “real” artist even if you can’t draw (spoiler: the answer is yes) About Phoebe Gander:Phoebe Gander is a mixed media Artist, inspired by the beautiful ocean, skies and landscape where she lives with her family in Wainui Beach on the east coast of New Zealand. She predominantly uses acrylic paint and epoxy resin, as well as other fluid mediums such as acrylic ink and alcohol ink. She is self taught in these mediums however has a BA hons degree in printed surface design, which she gained studying at Falmouth College of Arts in the UK. She began creating art regularly again in 2018 and creates work using many layers, using paint and sometimes resin or other media to create depth and intrigue. ​Phoebe is fascinated by creating artworks that pull the viewer closer and drawn to creating abstract landscapes, full of textures and marks that tell a story. To her, there is something captivating about nature - it’s a never ending source of inspiration, ever changing with the seasons, the weather... in a time where everything is fleeting, where people want to consume things so quickly, she creates artworks for you to stand still and consider a moment caught in time. Living just across the road from the beach and with a backdrop of hills behind her home studio she feels a strong connection to the landscape that surrounds her.​Originally from the UK, Phoebe has lived in New Zealand with her husband for the past 15 years where they’ve since had three children.Kate Shepherd: art | website | instagramMorning Moon Nature Jewelry | website |  instagramCreative Genius Podcast | website | instagramPhoebe Gander: website | facebook | instagramResources discussed in this episode:Alcohol inksResin Additude.mag diagnostic tool for addDr, Richard Barkley adhd researchPower of Now Eckhart TolleIf you or someone you know is suffering with Post-Natal or Depression of any kind, please reach out to your local health-care provider Please share the show with a friend and if you are moved to make a financial contribution to the production of this podcast, THANK YOU here is the link for our Patreon