108: How to Develop Better Communication with Your Kids with Linda Murphy

In this episode, Linda Murphy joins me to discuss how to develop better communication between kids and parents. Linda is a speech language pathologist and RDI® Consultant. She co-founded Peer Projects Therapy From the Heart, a clinic in Beverly, MA dedicated to helping kids and families by using a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness. Linda has been working with individuals with social learning differences for over 25 years.  We talk about: [3:15] How Linda got into this work [4:40] What is declarative language [10:40] What happens when a person is given a command [14:55] Different strategies for kids who are rigid thinkers [18:35] Giving kids processing time [20:50] The balance between alternative thinking vs. giving kids notice of things changing [25:30] Acknowledging the ‘communication dance’ [28:40] Strategies for modeling ‘black and white thinking’  [32:05] Voicing your moments of flexibility to help your kids [34:00] What we can do as parents to help our kids to not be afraid of making mistakes [38:55] Examples of declarative language vs. imperative language [45:00] Advice to her younger parent self   She leads trainings on the topic of social learning, has authored Declarative Language Handbook, Co-Regulation Handbook, numerous articles, and co-authored the book Social Thinking and Me with Michelle Garcia Winner. Linda lives north of Boston with her husband and their two busy lovable boys.   Resources mentioned in this episode: Free ‘How to Stop Yelling’ Course: www.sarahrosensweet.com/yelling  Join us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/peacefulparenting  Parent Workshops: https://www.declarativelanguage.com/8-week-workshops  Trainings for educators: https://www.declarativelanguage.com/trainings-for-professionals    Connect with Linda Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/declarativelanguage/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100057683280110  Blog: https://www.declarativelanguage.com/sunday-snippets-of-support  Website: https://www.declarativelanguage.com/    Connect with Sarah Rosensweet   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahrosensweet/  Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peacefulparentingfreegroup Website: https://www.sarahrosensweet.com  Book a short consult or coaching session call: https://book-with-sarah-rosensweet.as.me/schedule.php