Gemma Hartley on Sharing The Mental Load

Back in 2015, journalist Gemma Hartley wrote an article for Harper’s Bazaar that went viral. The article was about emotional labor & it really hit home for so many people - in fact 2 BILLION people read it. It led to Gemma writing a book on the topic & coming up with some real solutions to this incredibly familiar experience. Gemma is the author of Fed Up; Navigating & Redefining Emotional Labour For Good. CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That's Helpful on Instagram. Find Gemma on Instagram⁠ & via her website. BOOKS Fed Up; Navigating & Redefining Emotional Labour For Good. Want to become a podcast sponsor, got some feedback for me or just fancy a chat? Email me - thatshelpful@edstott.com TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:55 - The Mother’s Day that led Gemma to write the book 00:03:30 - What is emotional labor? 00:06:35 - Society assumes women are the default parent  00:08:00 - The mindset of ‘helping out’  00:10:40 - What happened when Gemma’s husband became the full time at home parent 00:12:30 - The response to ‘stop being such a control freak’ 00:15:00 - Setting shared standards 00:19:00 - Emotional labor for men in the dating period 00:21:12 - Why Gemma no longer asks for ‘help’ at home 00:25:11 - How to explain the problem without it becoming a fight 00:30:18 - Why taking on the emotional labor can make partners’ lives richer 00:33:15 - Having the expectation that this is going to require more than a single conversation 00:36:16 - Taking on the emotional labor of addressing emotional labor (!!) 00:40:30 - It’s okay to leave if someone isn’t meeting you where you are