How to Regulate Your Nervous System

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The other day in my Live Q and A for my members, I was asked “How can I get regulated again after getting dysregulated?” What I assume that the person means is that they want to get back to the safe and social state of the nervous system, the parasympathetic response where you feel relaxed and calm and can think clearly. I’m going to assume that you already know a little about the nervous system- you understand the fight/flight freeze response, and about the shutdown response (if not check out my video on the 3 states of the nervous system). Because if you’re asking about dysregulation, you understand that we can’t just think our way into changing our nervous system. You know about using the powerful tool of the body to regulate the mind and nervous system. You already know about how to use body based skills like deep breathing, the yawn, body scan, mindfulness. (if you don’t, take my free grounding skills course). Like right now- take a really slow breath, make a big yawn. Gently tap your face. And I’m assuming that you know about the skills to slow things down. That you’ve already tried writing about it. Going for a walk or exercising, and talking with a safe and understanding person. So I’m going to assume that you’ve tried all these things, and that it’s not working. These skills work the majority of the time, but not always. So let’s talk about what to do when these aren’t working. I love doing this work. Let’s troubleshoot together shall we? There are at least 3 reasons why you’re having a hard time regulating your nervous system, despite your best efforts. So let’s explore them and their antidotes.
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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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