#18: Using Skills to Get Through the Holidays

The holidays are a time where there is often a lot of pressure to have a certain kind of experience - one that is about family, friends, joy, and celebration. For many folks, this is more of a fantasy than a reality.  If you are fortunate enough to enjoy time with family and friends during the holidays, the expectation of constant togetherness and merry-making can be a set up for disappointment. This episode discusses common themes that come up during the holidays as well as ways to take care of yourself.   Show Highlights: The mythical family gathering where everyone is happy creates a lot of unrealistic expectations Travel can add pressure and stress  Even in the most functional families, it’s often a lot of concentrated time together Old dynamics between parents and adult children arise Dealing with judgmental family members Cope Ahead is a great skill to use for the holidays Cope Ahead requires you to describe the situation that will prompt a problem response in you, anticipate the problem behavior or emotion ahead of time, and then plan out what skills you will use The skill of Radical Acceptance - that you have the family, friends, and social life that you have right now Acceptance does not equal approval Adult children can often think that they are going to go back to families and change them and this rarely works Loneliness, isolation, and grief gets amplified  Creating your own rituals and traditions The Distress Tolerance skill of Contributing can be especially helpful during the holidays Recap of Skills Discussed: Mindfulness PLEASE  Cope Ahead Radical Acceptance Mindfulness of Others Contributing Links & Resources: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition Ask Us a Question! We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here.  Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment. To learn more about DBT and therapy in general, read our blog.