The Milestone Myth: Discovering Your Own Definition of Success

In episode 32 of "Quiet the Clock" podcast, we are joined by Kate Semeniuk, a RTT Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist to discuss societal timelines and pressures that often don’t coincide with the pursuit of individual happiness. Through their discussion we learn that often, it can create unhappiness, comparison and self-judgment. Kate and Beth discuss the relentless pressure women face to conform to predefined life milestones and the detrimental effects of comparing one's journey to others'. Kate brings forth invaluable tools and techniques to break free from this comparison trap, helping listeners discover their genuine desires and values. The conversation takes a deeper dive into the realm of subconscious beliefs and the pivotal role of hypnotherapy in unraveling the mysteries of these deeply ingrained notions. They both explore the fears of missing out, making mistakes, and facing solitude while on a quest for happiness. As well as delve into topics around the corrosive effects of blame, guilt, and shame, shedding light on the importance of self-reflection and positive self-talk. “ The episode wraps up with Kate generously sharing two powerful tools aimed at boosting self-confidence and altering negative narratives – a voice recording exercise and an NLP practice.   Quotes: Kate, 00:05:24, "I looked at my friends who were going out partying, building careers, and there was this sinking sadness, this sinking guilt for I should be loving this baby and should be enjoying my motherhood, while I didn't." Kate, 00:22:20, "I am so grateful for what I know now because what I don't know yet is even more beautiful." Beth Gulotta, 00:29:08, "I love that idea...just make space for that." Kate, 00:39:33, "You get to fall in love again with every part of you, and voice is the expression of ourselves."      Key Points The pressure of meeting societal milestones [00:02:32] Kate and Beth discuss the societal pressure to meet milestones and how it can affect happiness and fulfillment. Comparison and idealization on social media [00:07:26] They talk about the tendency to compare ourselves to others, especially on social media, and how it can lead to feelings of sadness and depression. Getting clear on personal desires and values [00:09:34] Kate shares techniques to help people get clear on what they truly want, separate from societal expectations and comparisons. The importance of questioning deep-rooted beliefs [00:13:28] Exploring the role of hypnotherapy in accessing and shifting core beliefs that are resistant to change. Understanding blame and shifting out of it [00:17:57] Examining how blame, guilt, and shame are socially imposed feelings and discussing techniques to help clients release them.  Embracing the present and letting go of guilt [00:21:35] Encouraging gratitude for the present moment and understanding that past decisions were made with the knowledge and understanding available at that time. The importance of self-love and self-care [00:24:40] Kate talks about the importance of loving and taking care of oneself, including leaving messages from one's happy self and using tools to shift out of sadness or doubt. Discovering one's true desires and values [00:25:38] Kate discusses how many women are influenced by societal expectations and feel pressure to conform to certain milestones, but emphasizes the importance of finding one's true nature and what brings them joy. Shifting mindset and embracing uncertainty [00:28:30] Beth and Kate discuss the need to differentiate between internal desires and external messaging, and how releasing expectations and embracing curiosity can lead to a more fulfilling vision and journey in life. Loving all parts of you [00:38:57] Kate discusses the importance of accepting and loving all parts of oneself, including one's voice, and shares an exercise to record and listen to one's own voice as a way to boost confidence and self-acceptance NLP practice for shifting negative scenarios [00:41:14] Kate explains a decades-old NLP practice to replace negative scenarios with positive outcomes by visualizing and repeating a happy scenario in one's mind. Closing remarks and promotion of Kate's guide [00:42:43] Beth thanks Kate for her insights and encourages listeners to subscribe to the podcast. She also promotes Kate's guide, "Balancing the Biological Clock," which offers expert advice on navigating differing timelines in relationships.