你把我当朋友，还是“情绪垃圾桶”？

可以搜索公号【璐璐的英文小酒馆】或者添加【luluxjg2】咨询课程or加入社群，查看文稿和其他精彩内容哦~ In today's Buzzword Mix, our Buzzword is Trauma Dumping. Now this word is so new that it doesn't even have an official Chinese translation. 这个词由于太新了, 我甚至都没有找到一个特别好以及特别官方的中文翻译, 咱们暂且把它翻译成 “创伤倾倒”或者 “创伤倾泻”. When we talk about dumping, we tend to think about dumping of waste, 比如工业的废水废料的倾倒. So what is trauma dump? First of all, I'm sure some of you heard of the word trauma. Trauma在心理学上主要指的是这种创伤创伤性事件. So trauma dumping refers to the oversharing of difficult emotions and thoughts with others. Now the key word here is oversharing. 所谓的trauma dumping, 就是这种会把自己的负面情绪, 特别是这种创伤体验过度分享的行为 oversharing, 这就让我想到了中国文学里面一个经典人物就是祥林嫂. I guess that is the type of trauma dumping. It is not a clinical term used by mental health providers. So it's not like an official word, but on social media you see it used more and more often.People who engage in trauma dumping often share traumatic events or stressful situations with others during inappropriate times.除了刚才说的oversharing, 还有一个特点就是他们会不顾对方的感受, 不分时间, 不分场合, 不合时宜的去跟别人过度分享. During inappropriate times. And also the shared information is usually unsolicited, which means the listener did not ask for their Information.  This often leaves the listener feeling overwhelmed, uncomfortable, or even traumatized themselves. 因为这里听者并不是主动的去问的, 经过了对方的这样的一系列的创伤倾泻之后, 这个听的人往往会感觉到overwhelmed, 因为别人过度沉重的人生情绪上或者心理上你很难承受, 然后会觉得不适, 甚至会觉得traumatized themselves, 自己也经历了这种创伤. This is a phenomenon called secondary trauma. 有二手烟就有二手创伤. According to therapists, trauma dumping doesn't facilitate healing. It doesn't make the victim or the person who's doing the trauma dumping heal while it may provide short term relief to the person doing it. Ultimately, it doesn't help either party and leaves the listener feeling burdened and helpless. 专业的心理医生就说, 这种trauma dumping其实并不是特别的健康, 因为它不光会让被动听着你创伤体验的对象感觉非常不适, 甚至也受到二手创伤, 而且就算对于宣泄的人本身来说, 也并不能起到真正的疗愈作用. So how do you recognize trauma dumping?  The biggest red flag is if the listener has no chance to talk or share their own emotions, the person on the receiving end of these thoughts and emotions often feels overwhelmed and helpless because they aren't sure how to respond or may not be given an opportunity to respond. 我们怎么样能认出来一个人是不是在trauma dump? 最简单的就是看这个听trauma dump的人, ta是否有机会真正的表达自己的看法, 还是一味的被动的接受.很多这种trauma dumping的被动接受者, ta们会觉得非常不适一个原因就是ta不知道应该做出什么样的回应. 比如说你在对我trauma dump, 然后你说的事情都是特别heavy, 特别沉重, 特别创伤性的, 然后我又不是一个心理医生, 不是一个专业人士, 我完全不知道怎么安慰你, 我也不知道该怎么回应.