Attachment, Trauma and The Importance of Healing Your Nervous System As A Provider w/Erica Cuni, The Burnout Professor, LMFT | Ep #63

In this episode, Erica and Dr. Jamal dive into the importance of attachment and healing the nervous system with its impact on the family unit. When there isn’t something to anchor to this can lead to more chaos at home and within the body. The more anchored we are in ourselves, we then set the field for those anchoring into us. 
02:30 - How does attachment play into the conversation 

Individual, biological, societal, communal levels


3:30 To regulate ourselves we first need co-regulation*

That is the foundation!! 


4 types of attachment styles*
Secure - well regulated N.S. adaptability and feeling through things, confidence and self-worth. Anchored in your world 
Insecure; 3 types 

Helicopter; constantly monitoring 

Absent 

Oscillation before being overly involved and distant = chaotic way 


05:30 - The role of a parent is co-regulation to the stressors and handling that 

Attunment from child to mom and mom to child 

Response MATTERS*** 


08:00 - The power of a flexible nervous system

Learned secure attachment*** 



How? Self reflection, trauma informed therapy, lifestyle changes. Change is possible. 


09:00 - Your brain is always changing 

Rebuild and interact with different emotions, behavior, actions and habits 


11:00 - What put you on the path of beyond talk therapy? 

“I didn’t know life any other way”


13:00 - If you’ve never sat still, don’t do it LOL.

You gotta learn how to be still or meditate. 

Discovery of essential and oils 


15:30 - The purpose of therapy. Self reflection 
16:00 - Why is Internal Family system such a potent modality in healing? Reels for E 

Evidence based with developmental trauma


17:45 - When the little t’s ardent’ taken care of where does it lead us? 

If you don’t express things with your mind, your body will express them 

When you don’t speak up, then dis-ease can manifest. “Letting things slide.” ** 

Stressors morph into disease 


21:00 - Don’t rock the boat. When you're not able to express fully who you are, through shame…you will stay small by getting sick

Remedy: Have a faith of some sort, understanding of something bigger plan


24:00 - Thanking the previous versions of ourselves and discovering the purpose in it all

Loss of purpose** → predisposing to burnout!!!

N.S regulation → Flexible N.S. → Taking risks → Explore


28:00 - Making sense of things = An attempt to create safety and understanding

Its up to us to make the meaning of it  


32:00 - Community is special. 

Perhaps not the same community 

Therapy you get to build how to relate with someone. Relationship with emotions 

Unpopular opinion - Attracting something that is worse 


36:00 - How to give therapy a go 

The nervous system knows and can recognize familiarity*


38:30 - Why would someone need a mentor, coach or therapist?

Mentor - mindset correction and someone who’s been or at where you want to be 

Coach - life skills cultivation

Therapist - Needs help 


41:15 - How to interact with someone where it is tough 

No managing others emotions = codependency ***

It's about choice** 


45:45 - An activated nervous system will lead to thoughts that will reinforce a stressed state
48:00 - Most of us who experience childhood trauma happens in the non-verbal stages!!!*

Non-verbal trauma it needs to be done through the body vs. the verbiage

Mindset shifts start in the body 


49:30 - What is attuenment? 

To understand what someone needs without over giving or turning your back on them* 


52:00 - The ability to remain anchored 

Anchored book - Deb Dana

If you’re not attuned to yourself, you can’t be attuned to others 


54:15 - A diagnosis is a snapshot in time, and something to be worked through 

Majority of the DSM is a reflection of a dysregulated nervous system 

Its not trauma informed, 

Dr. Dan seegal 


58:15 - You are not stuck!! 

Nutrient dense foods

Talk to people to move through the emotional states 


59:45 - Trauma is when the stressors become overwhelming and you get STUCK 

Its not the event, its not the mindset. 

Your genetic makeup, past experiences



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