145 episodes

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 

With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.

New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief & follow the show @ItsOKPod

It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine iHeartPodcasts

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.8 • 198 Ratings

Life is full of difficult things, from tiny everyday disappointments to life-altering events. Everyone’s at least a little bit Not OK, something grief expert and psychotherapist Megan Devine knows from the inside out. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. 

With guests pulled from the front lines of entertainment, medicine, education, and activism, the conversations in It’s OK that You’re Not OK are funny, complex, emotional, and hopeful - maybe not your typical dinner party topics, but none of us are entirely OK, and it’s time we start talking about that.

New episodes each and every Monday, from the author of the best-selling book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and iHeartMedia. Find Megan online at @refugeingrief & follow the show @ItsOKPod

    It’s Not Just Business: Healthcare Equity & Leadership with Dr. Errol Pierre

    It’s Not Just Business: Healthcare Equity & Leadership with Dr. Errol Pierre

    Dr. Errol Pierre is a corporate executive, leader, mentor, and outspoken advocate for healthcare equity in the US and Haiti. HIs book, The Way Up, helps underrepresented individuals from all ethnic backgrounds achieve their professional goals and elevate their careers in today's workplace. 

     

    What you probably don’t know is that grief - in one form or another - plays a part in every one of those roles. 

     

    In this episode we cover: 

     


    Why a book about climbing the corporate ladder gets the spotlight on a show about grief
    How little kid Errol’s delayed root canal influenced adult Errol’s entire career
    Building the equitable world from the ground up: Errol’s work in Haiti 
    Why making healthcare more accessible will prevent more grief (when it’s avoidable), and reduce suffering (when it’s unavoidable) 
    Navigating racism in the corporate world 

     

    We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.

     

    Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.

     

    About our guest: 

    Dr. Errol Pierre is the Senior Vice President of State Programs at a large non-profit health plan in New York. He provides leadership, mentorship, and guidance to professionals of color across various industries, ensuring the advancement of diverse professionals into leadership positions. He’s also fiercely committed to healthcare equity - building a world where systemic equity is built into the foundation of all new ventures. 

     

    Follow Dr. Errol Pierre at @ErrolLPierre on most social platforms or visit errolpierre.com

     

    About Megan: 

    Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief

     

    Additional Resources:

    Read Errol’s book - The Way Up: Climbing the Corporate Mountain as a Professional of Color

     

    For more on grief in the workplace, read “The Burden of Bereavement: Grief is the latest challenge for employers in the coronavirus era” and “How to Talk to a Grieving Customer”

     

    Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 

     

    Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

    Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

     

    Follow our show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief and @itsokpod on TikTok.

    For more information, including clinical training and consulting and to share your thoughts, visit us at refugeingrief.com
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 54 min
    Pet Loss and Veterinarians Who Cry: with Veterinary Oncologist and Author Dr. Renee Alsarraf

    Pet Loss and Veterinarians Who Cry: with Veterinary Oncologist and Author Dr. Renee Alsarraf

    Nobody likes to talk about pet loss… but everybody wants to talk about pet loss. What a difficult scenario that is! Veterinary oncologist Dr. Renee Alsarraf, author of Sit, Stay, Heal, joins us to talk about grief, professionalism, and the importance of being human - on the job and off. 

     

    In this episode we cover: 

     


    The whole truth about loving - and losing - your pets
    The terrible advice Dr. Renee Alsarraf’s grad school teacher gave her (and why she refused to listen) 
    Why vets and other professionals should really NOT check their human emotions at the door
    When it’s time to welcome a new love into your life (human or otherwise)
    How Dr. Alsarraf’s experience with veterinary oncology did (and didn’t) prepare her for her own cancer diagnosis

     

    We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2022.

     

    Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.



    About our guest: 

    Dr. Renee Alsarraf is a veterinary oncologist, lecturer, and philanthropist. Her book, Sit, Stay, Heal, is a moving and uplifting memoir of an esteemed veterinary oncologist fighting to save her four-legged patients while making sense of her own unexpected cancer diagnosis.

     

    Find Dr. Alsarraf on IG @reneealsarraf and learn more about her book at sitstayhealbook.com

     

    About Megan: 

    Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief

     

    Additional Resources:

    Read Dr. Alsarraf’s book - Sit, Stay, Heal: What Dogs Can Teach Us about Living Well

     

    Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 

     

    Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

    Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

     

    Follow our show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief and 

    For more information, including clinical training and consulting and to share your thoughts, visit us at refugeingrief.com
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 42 min
    Horse Barbie & Cultivating Trans Joy with Geena Rocero

    Horse Barbie & Cultivating Trans Joy with Geena Rocero

    Can you hide in plain sight?

    From trans beauty pageants in the Philippines, to the catwalks of New York City fashion week, to the Ted Talk mainstage – Filipina-American model Geena Rocero has lived an astounding life. This week on It’s OK that You’re Not OK, the author of Horse Barbie: A Memoir shares what it costs to suppress your true self in order to find safety and success, and why joy is powerful medicine. 

    Geena Rocero is a trans advocate, speaker, and author of the new book, Horse Barbie.

     

    In this episode we cover: 


    Why do we have to talk about gender all the time anyway?
    How can parents support trans children? 
    The history of trans beauty pageants in the Philippines
    Why joy - and a sense of humor - are real survival tools

     

    We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.

     

    Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.



    Related Episodes:

    Coming Home to Yourself with Alex Elle

    If I Survived, You Can Too! Author Emi Nietfeld on the Hollowness of the Transformation Narrative

    Over and Over Again: Illustrator Aubrey Hirsch on the Power of Storytelling



    About our guest:

    Geena Rocero is a Filipina-American model, public speaker, author, and trans rights advocate. Ms. Rocero made history as the first trans woman ambassador for Miss Universe Nepal, and the first trans Asian Playboy Playmate of the Year. Her TED Talk, “Why I Must Come Out,” has been viewed over 3.7 million times. She’s an advisory board member of SeeHer, a global coalition working to increase representation and accurate portrayal of all women and girls in marketing, media, and entertainment. 

    She’s spoken at the White House and United Nations, and has been featured on CNN, MSNBC, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Vanity Fair, and Variety. Her book Horse Barbie: A Memoir was named one of the Best Memoirs of 2023 by Elle Magazine. Find her @geenarocero on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter

     

    About Megan: 

    Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief

     

    Additional Resources:

    Watch Geena’s TED Talk “Why I Must Come Out”

     

    Read Geena’s book - Horse Barbie: A Memoir 

     

    Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 

     

    Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

    Books and resources may contain affiliate links.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 54 min
    Real Self-Care with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

    Real Self-Care with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

    Have you ever put on a face mask, expecting it to solve all your mental health problems? 

    That seems…unrealistic, but it’s what self-care marketing tells us: get your self-care right, and all your difficulties will evaporate. This week on It’s OK, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, author of Real Self-Care, breaks down what “self-care” actually means when we’re living in a complex, capitalistic world. It’s an exploration of grief, burnout, and exhaustion, and what it takes to care for yourself inside systems that repeatedly ignore their part in your suffering. 

     

    In this episode we cover: 


    Why self-care doesn’t work
    How hope is different than optimism
    Does looking for your own answers mean you have to do things alone?
    Accepting help as a bid for connection
    How Dr. Lakshmin’s definition of boundaries can help you practice real self-care

     

    We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.

     

    Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.

     

    Follow the show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief

     

    Related episodes:

    Rage Becomes Her (and by “her” I mean US) with Soraya Chemaly

     

    Living with Chronic Illness: A Conversation for Everyone with a Body with Sarah Ramey.



    About our guest:

    Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD is a psychiatrist, a clinical assistant professor at George Washington University School of Medicine, and the founder and CEO of Gemma, the women’s mental health community centering impact and equity. She has spent thousands of hours taking care of women struggling with burnout, despair, depression, and anxiety in her clinical practice. Her debut non-fiction book, Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included), is available in e-book, hardcover, and audiobook narrated by Pooja.

     

    About Megan: 

    Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief

     

    Additional Resources:

    Read “Hope is Not a Thing to Have – It’s a Skill to Practice” at Oprah Daily

     

    Read “How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers” at The New York Times

     

    Read “Saying ‘No’ Is Self-Care for Parents” at The New York Times

     

    Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 

     

    Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

    Books and resources may contain affiliate links.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 1 hr 5 min
    Is There Any Good News on Climate Change? with Bill McKibben

    Is There Any Good News on Climate Change? with Bill McKibben

    We’re in a massive climate crisis, but it’s hard to think about it, isn’t it? 

    It’s a great temptation to shut our eyes to climate change. It’s overwhelming. This week on the show, climate activist and author Bill McKibben on facing the reality of the climate crisis, understanding what needs to change, and what you can do - not just to change the course of humanity and the planet, but to feel more hopeful and connected as this all unfolds. 

     

    In this episode we cover: 

     


    Is halting climate change really dependent on personal recycling and whether we use plastic straws? 
    Is it okay to have intense emotional responses to wildfires, floods, and the inaction of those “in charge”? 
    How the boomer generation is using their experience and wealth to revisit the activism of their youth (and supporting younger activists at the same time)
    How talking about our fears and our ecological grief gives us common ground to fight for our future - and our present. 



    We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.

     

    Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.



    For more on activism in the face of impossible odds listen to these related episodes: 

    Women, Life, Freedom: Grief and Power In Iran, with Nazanin Nour

    Wonder in an Age of Violence with Valarie Kaur & See No Stranger



    About our guest:

    Bill McKibben is an American environmentalist, author, and journalist who has written extensively on the impact of global warming. His books include The End of Nature, about climate change, and Falter: Has the Human Game Begun to Play Itself Out?, about the state of the environmental challenges facing humanity. 

    Bill is a contributing writer to The New Yorker (read his latest piece here), and founder of Third Act, which organizes people over the age of sixty for progressive change.

     

    About Megan: 

    Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief

    Additional Resources:

    Terry Tempest Williams’ book Refuge: An Unnatural History of Family and Place, and her recent NYT article on Utah’s great Salt Lake (gift link, no subscription needed)

     

    Explore Joanna Macy’s work on the intersection of grief and activism at her website, or her books, including Coming Back to Life: The Updated Guide to the Work That Reconnects, World as Lover, World as Self, and Widening Circles: A Memoir

     

    Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 

     

    Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

    Books and resources may contain affiliate links.

     

    Follow our show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief

    For more information, including clinical training and consulting and to share your thoughts, visit us at refugeingrief.com
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 51 min
    A Renaissance of Our Own: The Stories We Tell Ourselves with Rachel Cargle

    A Renaissance of Our Own: The Stories We Tell Ourselves with Rachel Cargle

    Can grief be an opportunity for growth and self-understanding? The answer, of course, is yes: but it’s a bit more complex than that. This week, author, philanthropist, activist Rachel Cargle on survival optimism, the resilience narrative, and why questioning the stories you tell yourself - with curiosity and kindness - is a powerful path of healing. 

     

    In this episode we cover: 

     


    How was grief modeled for you growing up, and how does that affect later grief?
    Can your memory of childhood grief be… entirely wrong? (or at least, inaccurate)
    Can you do grief wrong?
    The difference between curiosity and judgment
    Is it ok to feel relieved when a sick person dies? 
    Rachel’s new book, A Renaissance of Our Own

     

    We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.

     

    Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.



    Related episodes:

    Gabor Mate on why we celebrate trauma, aka: resilience 

    Illustrator Aubrey Hirsch on the power of storytelling as an act of healing



    About our guest:

    Rachel Cargle is a writer, entrepreneur and philanthropic innovator. Her new memoir, A Renaissance of Our Own, centers the reimagining of womanhood, solidarity and self. In 2018 she founded The Loveland Foundation, Inc., a non-profit offering free therapy to Black women and girls. 

     

    She’s also the founder of Elizabeth’s Bookshop & Writing Centre, a literacy space designed to amplify, celebrate and honor the work of writers who are often excluded from traditional cultural, social and academic canons. For more on her many endeavors, visit rachelcargle.com.

     

    About Megan: 

    Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today’s leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief

     

    Additional Resources:

    Read Rachel’s new book - A Renaissance of Our Own

     

    The Great Unlearn – a self-paced, donation-based learning community

     

    The Great Unlearn for Young Learners – an online learning space for young folks launching in 2022

     

    Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here. 

     

    Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 1 hr 4 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
198 Ratings

198 Ratings

alexsassafras929 ,

Best grief podcast

Listening to this podcast is my moment of respite each week as I navigate the loss of my mom and brother. The conversations she has with her guests are thoughtful and nuanced. Somehow she manages to find the right language to describe all of what encompasses grief and loss. Read her book, too! Or listen on Audible, since reading is so difficult when you’re in the throes of grief.

d-roll-one ,

A great companion

I have been listening to this for a year now and it has been a source of constant comfort. It is an oasis where everyone’s form of grief or reason for grief is validated and supported. Please do another episode re pet loss - there is so much more to say. Thank you!

Lisrog ,

Excellent Grief Suuport

My daughter passed last year. You have helped me sit with my grief.

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