Attachment, Trauma and The Importance of Healing Your Nervous System As A Provider w/Erica Cuni, The Burnout Professor, LMFT | Ep #67
In this episode, Erica and Dr. Jamal dive into the importance of attachment and healing the nervous system with its impact on the family unit. When there isn’t something to anchor to this can lead to more chaos at home and within the body. The more anchored we are in ourselves, we then set the field for those anchoring into us.
02:30 - How does attachment play into the conversation
Individual, biological, societal, communal levels
3:30 To regulate ourselves we first need co-regulation*
That is the foundation!!
4 types of attachment styles*
Secure - well regulated N.S. adaptability and feeling through things, confidence and self-worth. Anchored in your world
Insecure; 3 types
Helicopter; constantly monitoring
Absent
Oscillation before being overly involved and distant = chaotic way
05:30 - The role of a parent is co-regulation to the stressors and handling that
Attunment from child to mom and mom to child
Response MATTERS***
08:00 - The power of a flexible nervous system
Learned secure attachment***
How? Self reflection, trauma informed therapy, lifestyle changes. Change is possible.
09:00 - Your brain is always changing
Rebuild and interact with different emotions, behavior, actions and habits
11:00 - What put you on the path of beyond talk therapy?
“I didn’t know life any other way”
13:00 - If you’ve never sat still, don’t do it LOL.
You gotta learn how to be still or meditate.
Discovery of essential and oils
15:30 - The purpose of therapy. Self reflection
16:00 - Why is Internal Family system such a potent modality in healing? Reels for E
Evidence based with developmental trauma
17:45 - When the little t’s ardent’ taken care of where does it lead us?
If you don’t express things with your mind, your body will express them
When you don’t speak up, then dis-ease can manifest. “Letting things slide.” **
Stressors morph into disease
21:00 - Don’t rock the boat. When you're not able to express fully who you are, through shame…you will stay small by getting sick
Remedy: Have a faith of some sort, understanding of something bigger plan
24:00 - Thanking the previous versions of ourselves and discovering the purpose in it all
Loss of purpose** → predisposing to burnout!!!
N.S regulation → Flexible N.S. → Taking risks → Explore
28:00 - Making sense of things = An attempt to create safety and understanding
Its up to us to make the meaning of it
32:00 - Community is special.
Perhaps not the same community
Therapy you get to build how to relate with someone. Relationship with emotions
Unpopular opinion - Attracting something that is worse
36:00 - How to give therapy a go
The nervous system knows and can recognize familiarity*
38:30 - Why would someone need a mentor, coach or therapist?
Mentor - mindset correction and someone who’s been or at where you want to be
Coach - life skills cultivation
Therapist - Needs help
41:15 - How to interact with someone where it is tough
No managing others emotions = codependency ***
It's about choice**
45:45 - An activated nervous system will lead to thoughts that will reinforce a stressed state
48:00 - Most of us who experience childhood trauma happens in the non-verbal stages!!!*
Non-verbal trauma it needs to be done through the body vs. the verbiage
Mindset shifts start in the body
49:30 - What is attuenment?
To understand what someone needs without over giving or turning your back on them*
52:00 - The ability to remain anchored
Anchored book - Deb Dana
If you’re not attuned to yourself, you can’t be attuned to others
54:15 - A diagnosis is a snapshot in time, and something to be worked through
Majority of the DSM is a reflection of a dysregulated nervous system
Its not trauma informed,
Dr. Dan seegal
58:15 - You are not stuck!!
Nutrient dense foods
Talk to people to move through the emotional states
59:45 - Trauma is when the stressors become overwhelming and you get STUCK
Its not the event, its not the mindset.
Your genetic makeup, past experiences
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Attachment, Trauma and The Importance of Healing Your Nervous System As A Provider w/Erica Cuni, The Burnout Professor, LMFT | Ep #67